


Sucker For You- BMC Shorts

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22852975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of Be More Chill short stories as inspiration hits me.
Relationships: Michael Mell/Jeremy Heere
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Michael In the Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, don't judge lol. Thanks for reading!

Michael looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hazy features stared back, eyes spilling over with tears. _Why?_ Why now? He and Jeremy, well... it had always been them. The Duo. Players one and two. Together they were... they were... they were a team. The best of friends. But now... He remembered the way Jeremy used to smile at him, the way one side of his mouth turned up when he glanced over at him when he knew he was about to win at whatever video game they were playing. The way it made his heart skitter. Jeremy, that he knew inside and out. His eyes catching in the light, shining with joy, and Michael thinking: God, Jeremy has such unfairly pretty eyes. The way he would laugh at his corny jokes, even when they were cringey and stupid as can be. And his laugh. Christ, his laugh. Jeremy, who had been his other half ever since they were 7. Just... Jeremy.

Now it was all falling apart. He was... gone. 12 years. 12 _years_ of being best friends. Always together. And now Jeremy was out there, _partying_ , just ignoring all of it. And here he was, crying in a moldy bathroom. God, how pathetic was he? He was so worthless. His only friend had just left him behind. He couldn't even keep Jeremy here. He was such a loser.

No. He was not having a panic attack here. No. This was not happening. He was not going to have a panic attack. In a bathroom. _Alone_. Michael began to hum, making up lyrics to the small tune as he went, trying to calm the storm of emotion swirling inside him.

_I am hanging in a bathroom..._

But the last few hours flashed before his eyes, leaving him with no control over what he was seeing at all.

"Your speechless. SQUIP got your tongue?"

"No, it's- it's off."

"That explains why you're talking to me. Okay, I'm going to be straight with you for a sec." Normally, here is when either Michael or Jeremy would insert a quote about Michael not being straight at all, but it clearly wasn't the time. "This whole thing isn't making sense. Why are you acting like this?"

Michael saw Jeremy's eyes glow blue, and watched his best friend's demeanor completely change to someone else. "I am under no obligation to make sense to you. Do you think that Jeremy was ever your friend? It was all a game of pretend. But you can't really blame him, can't you? The only person you can blame is yourself. And you think that he could have ever have feelings for you, let alone love you back? _Pathetic_." Michael took a step back, the words hitting too deep, too fast.

He had learned to hide his feelings so well over the past few years. He had tried not to fall in love, he really did. But even though he knew Jeremy wasn't part of this conversation at all, he couldn't help but let the SQUIP's words get to him.

He remembered the way Jeremy's eyes had flickered. He was fighting to gain control. And Jeremy won that battle. But only for now.

"Okay. Michael, it's me now. "

"How could you?"

His voice had sounded so cold.

"Don't pretend for one second that you didn't just abandon me. Don't pretend for one second that you were not a complete dick."

 _You're my player one, Michael._ Number one. Always. We're never not gonna be a team. How far that had gotten them.

"You know, I was thinking about what I was going to say to you. I had this really pissed off monologue- An epic journey through twelve years of friendship..." The corner of Jeremy's mouth twitched up into a breathtakingly soft smile. Jeremy, kind, perfect Jeremy. Jeremy who could smile even now, who he was still hopelessly stuck on, wh- _who had abandoned him,_ Michael reminded himself.

"What?" Michael asked.

"It's just- It's just really great to see you, man."

"Well it won't be once you heard what I found out."

"About...?" Jeremy trailed off, confused. Michael tapped his head and Jeremy's face lit up, understanding what he meant.

"How? There's nothing on the interne-"

"Which is weird, right? I mean, what _isn't_ on the internet?" Michael could see the gears turning in Jeremy's brain, acknowledging this. He saw Jeremy nodding because, well, yeah, what can't you find online?

Michael pressed on, continuing. "So I started asking around and dude, do you even know what that 'thing' is doing inside your brain?"

"...What? What do you mean?"

He had sounded so confused. So innocent.

Until his face twisted in a way Michael had never thought Jeremy's face was capable of.

"And I thought Chloe was jealous."

_Listen to yourself, Jeremy. Look at what you've become._

"Okay, fine. Do I sound jealous when I say this? There was a kid in high school who was a straight D student. In less than a year, he was a freshman at Harvard. Do you know where he is now?"

"Uh... Really happy and successful?"

"He's in a mental hospital."

He saw Jeremy's eyes flicker, comprehending this piece of information. "Well, I don't see how this has anything to do with me."

" _Think_ , man! We're talking about an insanely powerful supercomputer. You think it's primary function is to get you _laid?_ Who made them? How did it end up in a high school? In _New Jersey?_ " He pleaded with Jeremy, begging him to understand.

He didn't.

"I think your just pissed that I got one and you didn't."

Michael scoffed. "Come on-"

"Maybe I got lucky, alright? Is that so weird? With my history, I would say the world owed me more." This conversation wasn't meant to go this way. Jeremy wasn't meant to get this worked up. He was supposed to understand, and then he would agree and then he would shut the SQUIP off and everything could be the way it always was.

"I don't know, your friend's brother's whatever's SQUIP made them crazy-" Jeremy continued, but was cut off before he could finish by Michael, needing to explain.

"The SQUIP didn't make him crazy-"

"Then how does this-"

_"He went crazy trying to get it out!"_

They both froze for a moment, staring at each other, the tension so thick you could cut through it with a knife.

"Well, then. I've got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that?"

Michael's heart shattered. Jeremy headed twoards the bathroom door, and Michael stepped in front of Jeremy, blocking him.

"Get out of my way."

"We're not done ye-"

"I said, get out of my way.

 _Loser_."

Jeremy had been his player two for years and they had always been together when people tried to bring them down. It had been Jeremy that comforted him when people had cornered him, calling him names and beating him up.

It had been Jeremy that told him that he wasn't a loser, and would never be.

Look at him now.

Michael jerked back to reality and gasped. He realized that he had sang through all of the flashback. He was sitting on Jake's bathroom floor, panting, tears pouring down his face. His vision cleared as he wiped them away. Suddenly...

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

They'll start to yell soon.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

"I'll be right out!"

Clang. Clang. Clang. CLANG.

He left you alone.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

He called you loser. Freak. You're so worthless. Pathetic. Michael starts to feel lightheaded and stumbles to the sink, splashing the cold, clear water from the sink on his face. He's feeling a bit better now. More grounded. Michael starts towards the door, reaching for the doorknob... but he couldn't hear knocking anymore.

Michael can't help but yearn for a different time, anytime but now.

 _"And I look in the mirror, and the present is clear: there's no denying, I'm just-"_ Michael cuts off for moment, unable to keep singing.

_"I wish I stayed at home in bed, watching cable porn. Or wish I offed myself instead wish I was never born!"_

His words fall on deaf ears.

Michael knew Jeremy wouldn't want to hear him say that, ever. But Jeremy isn't here. Not anymore.

Or so he thought.

Michael swears he hears a faint, (but definitely audible) gasp from the behind the door.

 _Great_. He was just betrayed by his best friend in a bathroom and now he's in hysterics on the floor. He's all alone. His one and only friend had abandoned him.

It's actually really funny how one word can change your whole outlook on life.

Or why you shouldn't have one.


	2. Jeremy Outside The Bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fic, don't judge lol. Thanks for reading!

Jeremy stood outside Jake's bathroom door, regretting every decision he ever made in his life already. He called Michael a _loser_. Jeremy knew how much of a trigger word that was to his friend.

It wasn't even like loser was the worst thing Michael had been called over the years; it was just the one that always seemed to come back to him. It was the first thing other kids had called him when he came out as gay. It was the first thing written on his backpack. It was the first thing people in school had called him when Michael did something wrong or had a panic attack. It was also the word that Michael's bullies had called him for years, along with many other unpleasant names he didn't want to remember.

He caught a few words through the door as Michael began to sing under his breath. _"I am hanging in a bathroom at the biggest party of the fall..."_ No. Michael only sang to calm himself down. Why would he need to... No. No no no no. Michael couldn't be having a panic attack right _now_. Could he? He raised his hand to knock, but then drew it away. _Ah, Fuck it._

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

No answer. He debated whether he should yell for him.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Kn-

"I'll be out soon!"

"Micha-" His voice died in his throat. Should he really be doing this? Jeremy began second guessing his decision to remain there. He wondered if he should turn tail and leave, because there's no way Michael would want to even look at him after what just happened. But then he heard Michael's voice drift through the door.

"I wish I stayed at home in bed, watching cable porn. Or wish I offed myself instead, wish I was never born!" Jeremy gasped. He immediately had an urge to bust down that door and tell Michael that it was okay, that he would always be there, that Michael wasn't a loser at all, and that Michael was the kindest, most amazing person he had ever kno-

He stopped and goggled at himself. Where did that come from? And what was up with his thoughts? It was probably the alcohol. Jeremy focused again. Back to Michael. He needed to tell Michael... but that's when Jeremy realized Michael was only in this awful state because of _him_.

_I can't let Michael think like this._

In his state, he could try and - no. Michael wouldn't... Michael is... He's... What was Michael to him? Were they even friends anymore? _I'll think about that later._

Right now, I need to go to him. I need to- _Jeremy, what are you doing?_ _Do you want to ruin everything we have built so far?_

I was just- _Don't._

But Michael.

 _Jeremy_. _We all ready talked about this. Do you really want to succeed?_

Well... Yes.

_Then leave._

But Mich-

_Jeremy, we have to go._

What?

_You heard me. Leave the party. **Now**. Leave. And hurry!_

Wh-

_GO._

Jeremy felt his body being controlled by a force he couldn't stop. He tried to fight it, to get back to Michael. _Michael_.

But before he knew it, he was walking out the door and driving home


	3. Someone Set A Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Michael's panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fic lol, don't judge too harshly. Enjoy!

Michael slumped against the door, still trying to compose himself after what just happened, his mind a whirlwind of jumbled up thoughts. He began to hear the music outside die down and somehow heard what sounded like... screams?

What was going on?

Michael stood and reached for the doorknob. It was scorchingly hot and he immediately jumped back. Cursing himself, he looked down at his hand. It was red and swelling, obviously burnt.

 _Fuck_.

Then he began to comprehend the previously unintelligible screams. ...Fire? _Double fuck._ Michael was too concerned about not dying than to watch his language, even if it was in his head. He frantically glanced around the bathroom. A blur of tiles and porcelain greeted him.

There. There was a window a few feet away from him. He scrambled to the window, fumbling with the latch. After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few moments, it clicked open. Michael struggled to break open the screen, his panicked mind fumbling for a coherent thought.

His first instinct right after going home would be to go to Jeremy's house, but...

The screen ripped and Michael lifted himself to inch through the tiny window. In a moment of grim humor, he wondered what the neighbors thought of the scene they saw before them. Michael fell to the ground with a thump, his hand and arms scratched and aching. He quickly scrambled to his feet.

Glancing around, he made a split second decision- to not go to the hospital and just go home.

Hurrying from the still flaming house, Michael found his car and began the painstaking drive home.

...............................

Michael climbed into his bedroom window, groaning. Driving and climbing with burnt hands didn't help.

_Why did his room have to be so high up?_

He carefully tip-toed downstairs, grimacing when the stairs creaked under his weight. Maybe it was time to cut back on the slushies. He looked through the cabinets, searching for something to patch himself up.

_Ah ha._

In one of the cabinets was a first aid kit and a roll of bandages. He grabbed them and headed his way upstairs.

Back in the safety of his room, Michael gingerly sat on his bed, careful not to open his wounds further. He carefully cleaned and wrapped his cuts and burns one by one. He and Jeremy we're always up to trouble, and since neither of them were that graceful, he was very familiar with cleaning up their little messes at this point. As Michael fell into the familiar routine of cutting and wrapping, he looked around his room.

 _If this were a movie or video game, here would be when those childhood memories come in for a visit._ Deciding he didn't need the emotional stress right now, Michael grabbed some Advil, closed his eyes and willed sleep to come


End file.
